The Seed of Communication (day70/365)

Empathy and love are the two most important aspects of communication according to Denis Waitley, author of “Seeds Of Greatness”.

Walking in another’s shoes is the best way to truly know how they are feeling, what they need or want, or what they are saying. Doing this before we criticize or pass judgment is wise.

To love someone is to value them. Love is one of life’s experiences that is best kept by giving it away. Demonstrating value for and looking for the good in others builds confidence in communication. Love listens unconditionally, overlooks faults to find the good, voices approval on a regular basis, and makes an effort to spend time with someone.

Ten steps to better communication:-

1/ It’s never too late. Don’t wait. Don’t leave a void that can be filled with rumour or misrepresentation.

2/ Empathy doesn’t assume. Put yourself in others’ shoes.

3/ When listening, take responsibility for hearing. When speaking take responsibility for conveying message.

4/ Look at yourself through other people’s eyes. What do they see?

5/ Listen for truth, speak the truth. Check validity of information.

6/ Be open-minded. Consider without prejudice. Then research and test integrity.

7/ See positive and negative side of issues. Pursue the positive.

8/ Check that you shift roles to cater to communication needs of different people. eg. business partner, spouse, friend, parent.

9/ Who are you communicating with? Those you admire traits of?

10/ A touch is worth a thousand words. A hug, shoulder rub, arm pat can mean a great deal.

Enjoy communicating!

The Seed of Perspective (day74/365)

Today we finish the last chapter of Denis Waitley’s book “Seeds of Greatness“.

Talking about perspective, the question is posed, “Are we running to or from our fulfillment?” Why are we doing the things we are doing? Are we doing the things that count?

Looking at the wheel of fortune, we can assess where we are sitting in each of the following areas:-

Mental
Social
Spiritual
Physical
Family
Financial
Professional
Community Support

Are we balanced in all areas, or do we need to work on some areas?

I finish this book with a quote “Life cannot be collected. Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. The gift of life is not a treasure hunt. You cannot look for success. The treasure is within you. It only needs to be uncovered and discovered. The secret is to turn a life of collection into a life of celebration.”

The Seed of Perseverance (day73/365)

Similar to the seed of faith, the seed of perseverance is the test of faith. Faith in action! Winners work at doing things most people are not willing to do. They press on and never give up their dream.

Denis Waitley in “Seeds Of Greatness” gives another ten steps to perseverance.

1/ Do high priority work first. Important gets priority over urgent/busy.

2/ Concentrate time and energy on 20% that provides 80% return.

3/ Anticipate short term drop in productivity when you make life changes.

4/ If you fail, get up. Fail again, get up again.

5/ Associate regularly with people who have similar goals.

6/ At a deadend? Take a renewal break. Regroup, refresh.

7/ Always expect the unexpected.

8/ Specialise before you diversify.

9/ Look at problems honestly and logically.

10/ Do more than asked, contribute more than required.

Last seed of greatness tomorrow.

The Seed of Adaptability (day72/365)

Even in the good old days (1833) newspaper editorial commented on too many crimes, too much violence, bewilderment at science discoveries, rapid political comings and goings, high pressure, incessant strain, etc.

Denis Waitley in “Seeds Of Greatness” says “that the good old days are here and now. In reality we can always find the worst of times and the best of times. It all depends on what we’re looking for.”

Adversities and failures can in fact help us develop an immunity against anxiety and depression. Crisis is an opportunity. Inventions/discoveries are often made when a solution for a need is sought.

So we can have “penalty” motivation causing distress (disorientation, distortion, discomfort, dysfunction and disease) or “reward” motivation causing eustress (goal orientation, energy, power, sense of well-being).

Ten steps to adaptability:-

1/ Examine your sense of humour. Laugh at yourself.

2/ Take responsibility for your emotions. “I feel angry.” NOT “You make me angry.”

3/ If upset, wait until adrenaline is released before talking to person involved. Address behaviour. Don’t criticise the person.

4/ Arguments are not won. Agreements are won.

5/ Change is inevitable and normal. Accept it.

6/ Don’t engage in “all or nothing” situations. Salvage what good you can.

7/ Let other people take responsibility for their behaviour.

8/ Learn to say “no” to commitments when you already have a full calendar.

9/ Simplify your life. Focus on your purpose.

10/ Engage in recreational activities.

Two more chapters of “Seeds of Greatness” to go. I hope you’re enjoying it so far.

The Seed of Faith (day71/365)

Faith – the promise of the realization of things hoped for and unseen.

Despair – the premonition of our deepest fears and unseen darkness.

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy! You don’t necessarily get what you want in life, but guaranteed, you will get what you expect!

So what’s your choice? Faith and hope OR despair and fear?

Besides our feelings, our faith affects our health. eg. stomach ulcers caused NOT by what we eat, RATHER by what’s eating us. So to summarise, our thoughts can give us a natural high or make us ill.

Denis Waitley in “Seeds Of Greatness” further gives ten steps to optimism or FAITH.

1/ Fly with the eagles. Live with optimism and realism. Don’t run around with the henny pennys who are concerned about the sky falling.

2/ If ever depressed visit a children’s hospital, a retirement home, a burns unit or an orphanage. If that doesn’t help, try the opposite – visit a playground or park where children are playing. Visit a church.

3/ Listen to upbeat, inspiring music.

4/ Change vocabulary from negative to positive.

5/ Realize change is OK. Sometimes unfamiliar, unexpected and vulnerable. A good growth time.

6/ Get high on endorphins. Think positive thoughts with the only side effect being happiness.

7/ Enjoy positive recreation and education.

8/ Visualize, think and speak well of your health. Use positive self talk on a daily basis.

9/ Call, visit or write to someone in need every day.

10/ Attend church on a Sunday. Parents note that studies on drug abuse among teenagers reveal that those NOT using drugs have a religious belief, have (extended) family relationships, and high self esteem.

Three more seeds of greatness over the next three days. Stay tuned.

The Seed Of Purpose (day69/365)

In “Seeds Of Greatness” , Denis Waitley teaches that goal setting is the instrument to living with purpose.

If we fail to set goals, we fail to achieve any. It is not enough to say that someday we will be somewhere, somehow. We need to set specific goals in the following areas for 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years:-

Spiritual, Mental, Financial, Physical, Social, Family, Professional, Community Support.

Once goals are set we need to say affirmations ie. … say in present tense what it is that we want to achieve as if we have already achieved it.

Ten Action Steps to achieve goals:-

Set short term goals.
Set goals just out of reach but not out of sight.
Get group reinforcement.
Establish a reward/celebration for when goal is met.
New Year – put goals in envelope. Open next New Year. Set new goals again.
Use calendar/diary to track goals.
Use calendar/diary to set time frames for upcoming goals.
Check master list of goals daily.
Don’t share goals with negative people. Look for encouragement.
Pay yourself each month and save some money for the future.

Sounds good to me.

The Seed Of Wisdom (day68/365)

Denis Waitley in “Seeds Of Greatness” defines wisdom as the combination of honesty and knowledge applied through experience.

Integrity, honesty and sincerity are like a boomerang. What you give out comes back.

Knowledge has power but is so undervalued by many. Our brain has the capacity for so much more than what we train it to learn.

Did you realize that a large vocabulary of words characterizes more successful people, regardless of their occupation.

Living according to our spiritual convictions, our integrity and our social conscience allows us to be true to ourselves and respect others.

An interesting exercise to do to allow ourselves some reflection and improvement is to think what we would do if we had our lives to live over again. We can consider where we may have used and still can use our aptitudes (gifts) more to actually live truer to ourselves.

Steps toward wisdom:-

Continue learning. Classes, courses etc.
Use dictionary to look up and learn new words.
Read lots. Increase vocabulary.
Take aptitude test. (Johnson O’Connor Foundation)
Question your honesty in all things.
Encourage your children/others to develop natural giftings.
Think, say and do what you believe is true in all situations.
Model yourself after people you respect and admire.

The Seed Of Responsibility (day67/365)

We reap what we sow. We get out what we put in. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. There’s no such thing as free lunch.

So we have two options as Denis Waitley, author of “Seeds Of Greatness” explains. We can accept conditions as they exist OR accept responsibility for changing them.

It is important to learn from our past mistakes (rather than replaying them).
It is important to live and “do” in the present rather than fearing what may happen in the future.
It is important to choose appropriate responses to things that happen and be less apprehensive about the inevitable that happens.

Our rewards in life will depend on the quality and the amount of the contribution we make. Self control is the key.

We can control the clock by choosing how to spend our time. Ask “Is this the best use of my time right now?”

We can control our concepts. Our thoughts and imaginings become realization.

We can control our contacts. We can change our environments and seek out worthy role models. We can choose who we spend most of our time with.

We can control our communication. Remember it’s more likely we will learn while listening and observing rather than talking. Offer value when we open our mouths.

We can control our commitments. We choose our priorities and how fast we act on them.

We can control our causes. Choosing worthy causes and long term goals defines who we are identified as. A worthy cause and a game plan gives us courage and confidence.

We can control our concerns. We can respond constructively to situations and concentrate on the joy of living.

Responsibility (or discipline) brings freedom. Would you agree?

The Seed of Creativity (day66/365)

Imagine a blank dvd. No pictures, no story, no dialogue. That’s how we were when we were born. As we grew we accepted the stories, the dialogue, the movies that others put on our dvd. If we were nourished and cultivated, our self image grew with happiness and success. If we were neglected and undernourished however, we have probably struggled with unhappiness, low achievement, unsociable behaviour.

Just as many adults and children believe that what they see on TV is true life, so too, we become conditioned to the input we receive from our families, friends, and teachers and accept what they say about us is true.

Whether we replay good or bad conditioning on our life dvd, what we see (being projected) is what we get. We then perform or behave in life, not in accordance with reality but with our perception of reality.

So we need to get creative and make a new dvd where we actively visualise and create our future in advance. How we picture ourselves will determine how our plot unfolds.

Relaxing and visualising living in the future we want, tells our mind that we are there now. It then works to bring about the outcomes we are expecting.

Stay tuned for another chapter from “Seeds Of Greatness” by Denis Waitley tomorrow.

The Seed Of Self-Esteem (day65/365)

Get set for another great book. Denis Waitley has some amazing insights to share with us in his book “Seeds Of Greatness”.

What is it that we are planting? What is it that we are harvesting? Are we expecting to harvest good when we plant bad?

We must feel love inside ourselves before we can give it to others. We generally form our self-esteem level from the way others speak and act toward us. When people do not separate who we are from what we do it leads to bad self esteem if our actions have been bad.

Fear can paralyze us to a point of stunting our growth. We need to over come the fears of rejection, change and success to ensure we grow to maturity in our goals and values, using every completion to spur a new commencement.

Successful people believe in their own self worth. The most important labels we have are the ones we hang on ourselves. When we see ourselves and others as valuable and worthwhile it is the basis of our ability to love others and achieve things worthwhile.

If we can remember that the value is in the doer not the deed, many more deeds of value would be done. So value yourself, value others. Build some self esteem in yourself and in others.