Love Language Wrap Up … (day 10/365)

Well, you’ve now heard about “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

Did you identify with the way/s your emotional love tank is filled? Did you understand which way/s your loved one has their emotional love tank filled? Is it…………..

Words of Affirmation?

Quality Time?

Receiving Gifts?

Acts of Service?

Physical Touch?

What makes you feel most loved? What do you desire above all else?  What do you request of your partner most often? Do you express your love in the way you want to be treated?  What thing not done hurts you the most?

Ditto the above questions for your partner.  If you still can’t work it out then I suggest for the next five weeks you go on a mission to find out what your partner reponds to.

Week 1 – give lots of compliments.
Week 2 – spend lots of extra time together.
Week 3 – Give lots of gifts.
Week 4 – Do jobs.
Week 5 – Pamper with lots of massages, cuddles, kisses etc.

As with anything, love is a choice. When you know what makes someone else feel special, you have the choice to do  just  that – make them feel special. Filling their emotional love tank will improve the future regardless of the past.

Can we get past being selfish and truly care about someone else to show them their significance?

I hope so. Bless you as you show true commitment to fill the love tank of your special someone to overflowing.

Love Language #5 … Physical Touch (day 9/365)

If you’re thinking that none of the last 4 love languages excited you much, then perhaps #5 is the one you respond to.

Physical touch is important to everyone, as are the other love languages, but to the person whose emotional love tank is filled by touch, a hug doesn’t just communicate love, it SHOUTS love.

Without touch they feel very alone, very unloved. They crave a touch as you pass them, holding hands, kissing, a back or foot massage, sex.

They know that they live in their body and to have someone touch their body is to touch them. To reject their body is to reject them emotionally.

Touch is easy to understand, easy to do (also easy not to do), depending on your motivation. Is there someone special you know who is worth the time to learn their needed touch requests? Are you up to the challenge?

Tune in tomorrow for a wrap up of “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Have you already worked out what your love language is? Have you worked out someone else’s?

Love Language #4 … Acts of Service (day 8/365)

Can you believe that some people get excited about having clean windows and spotless floors every day of the week?

If you live with someone from the above category, then  there are very high chances you will impress them (fill their emotional love tank according to Gary Chapman in “The Five Love Languages”) if you get that cleaning cloth out to tickle the windows or the vacuum cleaner to waltz over the carpets.

You will find your loved one much more agreeable, relaxed, friendly and willing to do the things you want if this is the love language that turns them on.

Men, without spending time to examine the stereotypes of male and female, may I suggest you just start the dishwashing water running and learn how to chop the vegies for dinner.

Serving others out of a love motivation fills a relationship with respect, harmony, appreciation. Jesus taught us well when he showed us how to serve others by washing their dirty feet.

Is there some job (act of service) you know you could do that would please your loved one? A good place to start is with things you have been asked to do in the last few weeks.

Perhaps you can ask your partner to list the things they’d like done. Then make the effort to do them -with a smile and from a heart full of love!

Love Language #3 … Receiving Gifts (day 7/365)

This love language is not hard to understand is it? We are familiar with receiving gifts for birthdays, Christmas and the like.

Have you ever gauged the excitement level of someone opening their gifts. Some make you feel excited just watching them. Others, you wonder whether you should have bothered giving them something, it all seems so lack lustre.

Well, you may have guessed that the excited ones are the ones who, by receiving gifts, have their emotional love tank filled.

If that is your loved one, why not surprise them more often with a flower from the garden, a free coffee voucher, a chocolate in their lunch box. It doesn’t matter the expense of the item. It is the thought they know you have given to them that warms their heart and inspires them to keep living and loving too.

To consider more expensive gifts, those of you who are good money savers will need to get over the resistance you have to spend money on what you perhaps consider frivolous. You will be investing in your relationship. A worthy cause!

Don’t forget too that giving of yourself is a gift much welcomed by your “gift receiver”. Just to be aware of when your loved one needs you and the comfort you give them is very important. The reward you get from them will be more comforting than that round of golf or that shopping expedition while they did it tough on their own.

Two more love languages to investigate from the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

Love Language #2 … Quality Time (day 6/365)

Can you remember the last time you  gave 20 minutes of your undivided attention to your loved one? Perhaps  you watched a movie together, had coffee and a conversation, played a game of cards.

For some, attention to what they have to say is an emotional need. If we give quality time to someone during a conversation, we  LISTEN very carefully to understand their experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires. We maintain eye contact, don’t do other things at the same time, and don’t interrupt.

We also need to be willing to share some of ourselves with the other person – our fears, feelings, desires, thoughts, experiences so they can feel connected to us.

Besides conversation, those who crave quality time to fill their emotional love tank enjoy doing activities together. Pleasant memories are created and the love bond is strengthened by doing things like walking the dogs TOGETHER, taking a stroll on the beach TOGETHER, planting a garden TOGETHER, doing the shopping TOGETHER.

Some people need TOGETHERNESS. If your loved one needs to have quality time,  why not spend more time with them and watch them bloom.

Three more love languages to discover. I’ll share them over the next three days as I continue to read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

Love Language #1 … Words of Affirmation (day 5/365)

Do you respond favourably to someone saying something nice to you or about you? I think most of us do.

How often though do we think to say something nice to someone else?  For some, these kind words are the major way they comprehend or FEEL love and feel special.

Kind words cost us nothing, so why don’t we  give them away more often?

We can show appreciation, inspire, encourage, sooth or forgive simply by using a gentle tone of voice and saying it with care.

We can use words to affirm someone by:

1/speaking directly to them

2/tell someone else about them (it gets backs to them!  -   telling mother-in-law is a good move)

3/tell someone else in front of your loved one.

With so many options, what are we waiting for?

Why don’t you compliment someone today?  Words can be written too. A nice card or letter with kind words are another option to give.

Four more love languages to discover. Stay tuned.